Weapons of Influence - Liking

Last month we discussed social proof — one of the six "weapons of influence" researched by Robert Cialdini and documented in Influence: Science and Practice. You may not have direct power, but you can increase your impact by practicing influence. In the next several Quick Tips we discuss practical, ethical ways for BAs to exert indirect power using these principles.
Liking: People you like have a larger influence on you than people you dislike or of whom you have no opinion. The foundation of liking is to find something you genuinely like about the people you are trying to influence. They will sense your feeling, and will respond in kind.
Example: For 12 years, Joe Girard was GM’s #1 salesperson, selling about five cars and trucks per day. He holds the Guinness world record as “Best Car Salesman”. His success was based on two things: a fair price and being someone from whom customers liked to buy.
Effective BAs need to be able to sell changes to stakeholders — usually a difficult prospect. A BA who is disliked can't manage change well: negative feelings about the messenger will cloud the stakeholder's perspective, causing them to look for the downside. Similarly, a BA who is well liked can encourage difficult change in a positive way.
Ethics: You can't make someone like you, but you can encourage people to like an image of you. Misrepresenting yourself this way — being all things to everyone — may be successful in the short term. Eventually, your stakeholders may think of you as disingenuous and untrustworthy, and like turns to dislike.
Hints: There are five general techniques to encourage people to like you:
• Attractiveness: Physical beauty opens doors, and makes it easier for people to like you.
• Similarity: Match your stakeholder's body language, analogies and tone.
• Praise: Give compliments. Even when not clearly deserved, people like you more.
• Repetition: Each positive encounter reinforces liking. They can be brief.
• Association: Being in a positive environment reflects well on you.
Remember, use these techniques to express the liking you have for others, not to manipulate them.